


The Forty-second Sentinel Tidbits File by Many and Varied

by 852_Prospect_Archivist



Series: The Senad Sentinel Tidbits Files by Many and Varied [42]
Category: The Sentinel
Genre: M/M, Senslash Fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 04:17:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/793878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/852_Prospect_Archivist/pseuds/852_Prospect_Archivist





	The Forty-second Sentinel Tidbits File by Many and Varied

## The Forty-second Sentinel Tidbits File

by Many and Varied

Author's disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, these tidbits aren't mine. Honestly, I'm not responsible for any of it!  


Rating: the whole range  
Pairings: J/B (mostly!) 

* * *

Tidbit #1 

ObSenad: 

Coming into his apartment, Jim noticed that Blair was sitting on their couch, had the television on, and was reading a book. He couldn't tell what it was, but it had Blair totally enthralled. Tired, all he wanted to do was snuggle up to his lover and do a little necking. He'd had a very hard day. 

"Hey lover, want to go out tonight?" 

Looking up, Blair had this expression on his face that after years together Jim knew full well meant that he wanted something and was prepared to do whatever it took to get it. Preparing himself, he told himself that he'd better make himself immune to Blair for awhile, because there was no telling what life changing decision was coming. Whenever Blair got that look, something always happened that completely altered their life. Hanging up his jacket, and throwing the keys in the basket, he went over and sat down next to Blair. 

Blair looked at him. Those blue eyes continued to drill a hole in him. Telling himself he was ready for the worst, lying back against the couch, he asked, "Okay Chief. Out with it. I know you want something, so you might as well tell me. Then I can say no and we can argue, then make up and finally make love. Which I'd love to skip that step right now, but don't think it'll work with the look on your face." 

"Jim...Darling...did you know that one of my student's has a beautiful chow that just had puppies?" 

Before he could say more, Jim came out with an emphatic "NO!!!!!". 

"What do you mean NO? You don't even know what I was going to say!" 

"I know you too well, Chief. You want a puppy. I've told you once, and I've told you twice, NO DOGS ALLOWED IN THIS APARTMENT!" 

"But JIM.....It's only one..." 

"NO" 

To his surprise, Blair quit, leaned over and started to seduce him. Unfortunately for Blair after a wonderful session of sex, it didn't work. He still didn't have permission for a dog. No way to get around Jim's decision of no dogs unless..... 

Five weeks later, Jim came home. He stopped, smelling something funny, and hearing a strange sound coming from his apartment. Dreading what he already knew he'd find, he opened the door. He stood there speechless, and couldn't have processed a thought through his head. Looking up at him were two pairs of eyes. A set of one blue pair of puppy dog eyes, and a set of brown puppy dog eyes. He could have fought one pair and won. Not two. He just gave up and said, knowing he'd regret it, "Okay Chief, there's no use trying to talk you out of it, so you might as well keep it. But YOU'RE taking care of it!" 

Jumping off the couch, Blair smothered Jim with lots of kisses, hugs and thank yous. He actually got something out of the whole thing, with some of the best sex they'd ever had. 

That night, Blair, lying on Jim, cautiously said, "Jim...now that we've got a dog, don't you think we need a family too?" 

finis 

Donna  


* * *

Tidbit #2 

ObSenad: 

"What are you doing?" 

"Remember that list I'm on?" 

"The one with Chewy/Solo, Superman/Olson..." 

"Yeah. Well, I asked for betas and some of them have finished, but I've fallen out of contact with others. So I'm doing a little piece to get them to write back." 

"How are you doing that?" 

"Oh, Ma Kent has added poetry to her other artistic endeavors." 

-end- 

Cynara  


* * *

Tidbit #3 

Re: To the tune of "Be Our Guest" from _Beauty and the Beast_ [Disney] (Jim singing): 

Marmoset wrote: 

"See my chest, see my chest" 

And K'Kathy adds: 

"Put my senses to the test.  
Let me touch you, let me taste you,  
then you know I'll love you best. 

See my hair, see my hair  
Though some's missing and it's spare.  
Gotta have you, god, I need you,  
Let's get naked, Chief, er, Blair." 

* * *

Tidbit #4 

Re: Another version to the Disney tune of "Be Our Guest" (real lyrics follow) 

See my chest! See my chest!  
Once you do, you'll want the rest.  
Slip the towel from off my hips, my friend,  
Your reserve will soon go west. 

Six foot two, eyes, bright blue,  
And I give it all to you. 

I have loved you, Blair, for ages,  
And I hope that love's contagious. 

Take a chance on romance,  
No one here will look askance. 

But lover, may I make just one request: 

Please rip off all that flannel,  
Those six T-shirts and the rest 

I gotta have a look, Chief,  
At your chest, at your chest, at your chest! 

* * *

Be Our Guest 

Be our guest. Be our guest.  
Put our service to the test.  
Tie your napkin 'round your neck, cherie,  
and we provide the rest.  
Soup du jour, hot hors d'oeuvres.  
Why, we only live to serve!  
Try the gray stuff, it's delicious.  
Don't believe me? Ask the dishes!  
They can sing, they can dance.  
After all, miss, this is France.  
And a dinner here is never second best.  
Go on, unfold your menu.  
Take a glance and then you'll be our guest.  
Oui, our guest. Be our guest! 

Marmoset  


* * *

Tidbit #5 

ObSenad: 

Jim Ellison stopped dead in his tracks the minute he walked into his loft. There was a noise...kind of. He extended his hearing, noting the only sound was that of his Guide's heartbeat and breathing. No. Wait. There is was again. 

"Um...Blair?" 

<snarl> "WHAT?" 

Jim turned to look at his beloved sitting on the floor with his lap top resting on his knees. "Something wrong, babe?" 

"Gee, I don't know. Lemme see, I can't receive any email because AOL sucks Clinton's dick almost as well as that Monica chick. I can't get into my hard drive because Jim's being a prick, so I can't finish that story I'm working on for Jean, _and_ to top it all off, I can't take my computer in until Monday." 

Anger-filled the smokey blue eyes as they met ice blue ones, and all Jim could do was blink. 

"Who, other than me of course, is Jim?" 

"My computer." 

"You named it Jim?" 

Blair kind of hemmed and hawed at this one as he rose to his feet. He slowly made his way in front on his new office (which was incidentally his old bedroom) and looked at his larger lover, trying to figure out how to get himself out of this one. 

"Well, yeah. I named him Jim because he's stubborn, pig headed, annoying, and refuses to cooperate with me on anything. He, uh, that is...he's a lot like you, lover." 

Jim took one step toward Blair, and the younger man _poofed_ inside his office. He was surprised his lover hadn't left skid marks. 

The detective walked over to the lap top and powered it down. "Well 'Jim', I'd love to tell you that I've got this witty saying to end this little snippet, but I don't. So why don't we just end this now." 

finis 

shanny  


* * *

Tidbit #6 

ObSenad: 

Blair Sandburg looked up from the latest National Geographic and looked for the source of the dull, rattling thump. Sure enough, it was coming from the kitchen where his partner, Jim Ellison, was puttering around. Well, actually, where his partner was rhythmically thumping his head against the refrigerator door. 

"What's the deal, Jim? Fridge holding out on you again?" 

Jim turned from the fridge and walked over to the kitchen island and leaned against it, arms outspread across the counter top. 

"That damned song, Chief -- the one you've been either humming or singing since last night? It's playing on a never-ending loop in my head and _now_ it's morphing into one of those Schoolhouse Rock songs and it's driving me _crazy_!" 

"Okay, the _song_ I get -- you mean the one from my List, right? But _Schoolhouse Rock_?" Blair asked, flipping the National Geographic over and setting it down on the dining-table. 

"You're shittin', me, right? You mean you _don't_ remember those Saturday morning Schoolhouse Rock educational spots? The multiplication table ones, or 'Conjunction Junction'?" Jim shook his head as open disbelief played across his face. "Hard to believe we came out of the same decade." 

"Just barely, Jim -- from opposite _ends_ of the decade! Besides, Naomi didn't leave me sitting in front of a TV when I could be outside playing." 

"No Superfriends, no Doctor Shrinker, no Sigmund and the Sea Monsters, no ElectroWoman and DynaGirl, NO Schoolhouse Rock... Chief, you missed out on the _linchpin_ of a typical American childhood!" 

"Oh, man, Jim, no _wonder_ you've repressed your childhood! Poor bastard," Blair replied with a grin. "Poor little developing brain filled to overflowing with all that _shit_." 

" _Robbed_ of a chance to say 'Wonder twin powers, activate!'" Jim exclaimed, arms flung wide. "Stripped of the inalienable right to watch 'Goober and the Ghost Chasers'. Never to have _seen_ 'Josie and the Pussycats in Outer Space'! Ladies and Gentlemen, I ask you -- what kind of _life_ is this for a small child to lead?" Jim demanded, thumping his chest dramatically. 

Oh, you're killin' me. If you were any more of a _ham_ I'd have to leave you for religious reasons," Blair said, shaking his head as he laughed at his usually reserved mate. 

"Then it's a good thing I'm Kosher," Jim smirked, very obviously reaching down inside the waist of his jeans to adjust himself as a thoughtful, distant look crept over his features. 

"Ding! This moment of lascivious fantasizing brought to you by the hyperactive libido of Jim Ellison," Blair crowed, grinning from ear to ear. 

"It is damned well _not,_ " Jim said, turning pink from collar to eartips. 

"Oh, it is _too_ , Jim! Who're you trying to kid, oh King of the perpetually horny?" 

"I am _not_ perpetually horny, Sandburg!" 

"Since _when_? I can honestly say you are the _horniest_ man I have _ever_ been involved with! Including myself! Shit, if you dropped your pants right now, you'd look like a tripod, Jim! Not that I'm complaining, mind you -- last night was... well, I'm ready for a repeat performance _any_ time you are, Maestro." 

"Well, you're to blame, you know -- I literally cannot get enough of you and, God help me, I never want to see the day when I _can_." 

"Oh, I hear you, man... same goes for me. Huh... nice to know when you get _that_ look, your mind's full of _me_ ," Blair said, smiling happily. 

"Yeah, well, right now it's filled with that fucking 'On some weekend when it's raining...' song." 

"What is the deal with this _song_?" Blair asked, honestly puzzled. 

"I can't believe you've never seen it," Jim said, eyes wide and mouth agape. "Okay, in addition to the multiplication tables and the English grammar spots, they started some on eating healthy and one of them was about making fruit-juice popsicles. Cartoons, all of them, and _these_ ones were 'hosted' by this ugly little peeled- potato looking guy with long arms and legs and a stove-pipe hat... oh, and a cane, and a long carroty nose. Sounded sort of like Paul Lynde..." 

"Okay, let's take this from the top," Blair said, holding up his hand to stem the flow of increasingly random narrative. "Tell me what the song says." 

"You wanna _hear_ it? That's what you want? You'll be sorry, Sandburg." 

"Go for it." 

"Remember, _you_ insisted..." said Jim, taking a deep breath. 

"On some weekend when it's raining  
And your mother is complaining  
'Cos you're hanging round just twiddling your thumbs  
Tell your Mom that you've been itching  
To make something in the kitchen  
And oh yes, the mess will be a _mini_ mum" 

"Blah blah blah, something something, details on how to make these damned ice-tray do-it-yourself popsicles with juice and plastic wrap and toothpicks, then..." 

"Presto! Stacks of snacks!  
Don't wait until it rains  
Before you try this nifty trick  
You'll have a _fun_ time  
Eating _sunshine_  
On a stick." 

" _Now_ think of your little 'Beauty and the Beast' song..." 

Blair looked at his partner blankly as the words and cadence settled in. Jim could almost _see_ the connections forming between the memory-hogging little ditty and the song from the Disney movie. He began to grin wider and wider as an increasingly horrified look took over Blair's face. 

"Oh, damn..." said Blair, shaking his head. 

* * *

Jim looked up from the issue of National Geographic when the sound of dull thumping wafted out of the kitchen. Blair was at the fridge, slowly banging his head against the rattling appliance. 

"Gotcha," Jim said, grinning wickedly. "Be our Guest, my ass." 

\--End-- 

Anonymous  


* * *

Tidbit #7 

ObSenad: 

"Hey, Chief?" 

"Yeah, Big Guy?" 

"You know that mailing list we're on?" 

"You mean the one about our favourite TV show?" 

"Yeah, that's the one. Have you noticed anything strange in the last few days?" 

"You mean like how little mail there's been?" 

"Exactly, do you think it's just because of light postings?" 

"Probably, why don't you just write a little short fiction thing that asks about it without being off topic?" 

"Good idea, I'll start now." 

"I have a better idea." 

Jim was suddenly aware of warm hands blazing a trail down his chest, across his rapidly hardening nipples and on to tuck them selves into the waistband of his jeans. Silky curls tickled his neck while a chin perched itself on his shoulder. Soft breaths caressed his ear. 

"Why don't you shut down the laptop, come upstairs with me now, and later we'll write something together." 

The laptop closed before the end of the sentence. As Jim stood, Blair wrapped his legs around the taller man. Hands slipped back to the denim covered ass and they headed towards the stairs. 

"You always guide me right, Chief." 

\--end-- 

PenGwin  


* * *

Tidbit #8 

ObSenad: 

As Blair finally got up to take a trip to the bathroom (Jim had been watching him squirm back and forth for over 15 minutes, and had been timing his lover just out of curiosity), Jim got up and approached the laptop. Blair had been grinning, nodding, and mumbling "Yeah!" under his breath and Jim was bored. So, what was so right -- was it an anthropology hoax uncovered, a freedom of speech case settled, or an herbal tea recipe finally forwarded? It could be anything! (Jim smiled softly as he recalled that their relationship had begun as a result of Jim finding Blair's subscription to the gay porn mailing list. Oh, no, that's 'erotica', never mind.) 

From: owner-mikeys-funnies@youthspecialties.com 

**E-MAIL FACTS OF LIFE**

  1. Big companies don't do business via chain letter. Bill Gates is not giving you $1,000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation. There is no baby food company issuing class-action checks. You can relax; there is no need to pass it on "just in case it's true." Furthermore, just because someone said in the message, four generations back, that "we checked it out and it's legit," does not actually make it true. 
  2. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to their cousin. If you are insistent on believing the kidney-theft ring stories, please see:  <<http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm>>. And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories. None have." That's "none," as in "ZERO". Not even your friend's cousin. 
  3. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if they do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you can get a copy at: <http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html>. Then, if you make the recipe, decide the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass the recipe on. (But I hear they stink.) 
  4. We all know all 500 ways to drive your roommates crazy, irritate coworkers, gross-out bathroom stall neighbors, and creep out people on an elevator. We also know exactly how many engineers, college students, Usenet posters, and people from each and every world ethnicity it takes to change a light bulb. 
  5. Even if the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this information would reach the public via an AOL chain-letter? 
  6. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever, ever forward any E-mail containing any virus warning unless you first confirm it at an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with virii. Try: <http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/hoax.html>. And even then, don't forward it. We don't care. (I would also add that you CANNOT get a virus simply by reading an E-mail, especially while reading it online. Viruses are transferred by files ATTACHED to the E-mail, which you have to download and open.) 
  7. If your CC: list is regularly longer than the actual content of your message, you're probably going to be punished eternally. (Ever heard of BCC:?) 
  8. If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write email, turn off "HTML encoding." Those of us on Unix shells can't read it, and don't care enough to save the attachment and then view it with a web browser, since you're probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman-Marcus Cookie Recipe anyway. 
  9. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months. It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the ">" that begin each line. Besides, if it has gone around that many times, we've probably already seen it. 
  10. Craig Shergold in England is not dying of cancer or anything else at this time and would like everyone to stop sending him their business cards. He apparently is also no longer a "little boy" either. 
  11. The American Cancer Society is not paying 3 cents per e-mail sent for a cancer patient....several variations on this one. See: <<http://www.cancer.org/letter.html>>. 



Jim found himself nodding, then felt two chilly hands worming themselves under his shirt. He turned around, slid Blair's fingers up into his armpits to warm, and kissed his lover slowly. They both broke for air and Jim asked, "So, you get anything from the porn list you want to try? We can ask Minotaur if his website is up...." 

-the end- 

Ann  


* * *

Tidbit #9 

Re: See tidbits file #40 for others in this series 

ObSenad: 

"Blair! Blair! Hurry up. Here it is." 

"Sheesh, Jim. Okay, I'm coming." 

"What? Without my help!' 

"Smartass. Look. There they are....." 

"This is Janet Kizer reporting from UPN headquarters where a demonstration is currently in progress. The scene here is pandemonium. Various factions protesting the appointment of two Rhesus monkeys to run the faltering network. More factions protesting UPN's current programming, including the returning show The Guardian, which features an apparently Gay couple - John and Bob. Also a number of groups protesting the protestors. 

"Excuse me sir, but why are you protesting?" 

"I'm here to protest the slippery slope we are on. Janet, we are heading to Armageddon. These sub-humans - these RHESUS MONKEYS! - they are the Anti-Christ. They are leading us all to hell, with their evil shows about filthy perverts. We have to save humanity before it's too late, and..." 

"Thank you, sir. Running out of time here. And you Ma'am. Why are you here?" 

"I'm here to protest that they gave a Human job to an ape. That man that ran UPN before - he was great. Why did they fire him anyway?" 

"Uhh, Ma'am? Aren't you Dean Valentine's mother?" 

"So what? I'm entitled to my opinion, aren't I?" 

"I suppose so. Oh! Hold on - something's happening! Look. A whole army of monkeys and apes of various kinds are charging out of UPN headquarters brandishing - what - yes they are brandishing bananas. Rotten ones at that. And they're throwing them at the protestors. The protestors are picking them up and throwing them back. This is turning into a riot. I wonder how this is all going to end? I have to sign off now. Get away, you little monkey!!!" 

Blair and Jim looked at each other and said 

"This is more fun than a barrel of monkeys!" 

\--end-- 

Janet  


* * *

Tidbit #10 

ObSenad: 

"Umm, Chief?" 

Blair looked up from his monitor that he'd been making faces at not two seconds before. "Yeah?" 

"Are you gonna help me pack up all these books? Or am I doing it all myself?" 

"Oh, man. Sorry. I just had to take a break for a little bit. You know how much I hate packing!" 

"Yeah. I know. I don't know anyone who does. But at least once you get your doctorate, you'll get hired somewhere where you can have a permanent office." 

"That would be incredible! But after helping me move this time, can you imagine what the dust bunnies would be like in a permanent office?" 

Jim shuddered. "I don't want to, Chief. My head is still pounding from the sneezing fit the ones in here set off." 

"I know. I'm sorry, man. I had no idea it could get that dusty after only a year." Jim raised an eyebrow at that, obviously not believing a word of it. "Okay. Okay. Yeah, maybe I did know. I just try not to remember." 

"So, what was it that you were cringing about over there?" 

Blair chuckled. "The folks on one of my lists. They're seeing how many memories of childhood they can bring up, but there are so many people with such different ages that most of 'em are getting a few 'huh?' responses. Which leads to having the worst nightmares of the decade that the person who didn't get it brought up." 

"Worst nightmares?" 

"Smurfs, man. Too happy even for me! It was like Barney for elementary school kids!" 

"Smurfs? Weren't they those little blue gnome things?" 

Blair shuddered. "Uh huh. Nasty things that I'd prefer NOT to remember." 

Jim levered himself up from crouching by the box he'd been in the process of filling to sit at Blair's feet. He leaned his head against Blair's knee and ran one finger along the inside seam of Blair's well-worn weekend jeans from ankle to mid thigh before stopping and looking into the grad student's eyes. "If that's the kind of distraction you're getting from the list, maybe we need to come up with some other way to take your mind off packing for a while." 

\--end-- 

iffer  


* * *

End Sentinel Tidbits File #42.

 


End file.
